Here are some quotes that some people will find them funny,
Others might find them a little sarcastic, but humorous.

"EVER STOP TO THINK, AND FORGET TO START AGAIN"

"BE NICE TO YOUR KIDS. THEY'LL CHOOSE YOUR NURSING HOME"

"I DON'T SUFFER FROM INSANITY, I ENJOY EVERY MINUTE OF IT"

"FEW WOMEN ADMIT THEIR AGE, FEW MEN ACT IT"

"WOMEN WHO SEEK TO BE EQUAL TO MEN, LACK AMBITION"

"WHERE THERE IS A WILL, ...I WANT TO BE IN IT"

"SORRY I DON'T DATE OUTSIDE MY SPECIES"

"IF YOU DON'T LIKE THE NEWS, GO OUT AND MAKE SOME"

"WORK IS FOR PEOPLE WHO DON'T LIKE TO WATCH TV"

"I GET ENOUGH EXERCISE JUST PUSHING MY LUCK"

"REHAB IS FOR QUITTERS"

"THE MORE PEOPLE I MEET, THE MORE I LIKE MY DOG"

"TIME IS WHAT KEEPS EVERYTHING FROM HAPPENING AT ONCE"

"CHANGE IS INEVITABLE, EXCEPT FROM SOME VENDING MACHINES"

"LOTTERY: A TAX FOR PEOPLE WHO ARE BAD AT MATH"

"HE WHO LAUGHS LAST... THINKS SLOWEST"

"I HAVE A PHOTOGRAPHIC MEMORY, BUT I AM RUNNING OUT OF FILM"

"SEEN IT ALL, DONE IT ALL, CAN'T REMEMBER MOST OF IT"

"THOSE WHO LIVE BY THE SWORD, GET SHOT BY THOSE WHO DON'T"

"I FEEL LIKE I AM DIAGONALLY PARK IN A PARALLEL UNIVERSE"

"YOU HAVE THE RIGHT TO REMAIN SILENT. ANYTHING YOU SAY WILL BE MISQUOTED, THEN USED AGAINST YOU"

"DESPITE THE COST OF LIVING, HAVE YOU NOTICE HOW IT REMAINS SO POPULAR?"

"NOTHING IS FOOL PROVE TO A SUFFICIENTLY TALENTED FOOL"

"BACK UP MY HARD DRIVE?  HOW DO I PUT IT IN REVERSE?"

"I JUST GOT LOST IN THOUGHT. IT WAS UNFAMILIAR TERRITORY"

"FORGET ABOUT WORLD PEACE... VISUALIZE USING YOUR TURN SIGNAL"

"WE HAVE ENOUGH YOUTH, HOW ABOUT A FOUNTAIN OF SMART?"


SEEN ON BUMPER STICKERS:

HONK IF YOU LOVE PEACE AND QUIET

HORN BROKEN, WATCH FOR FINGER

COVER ME, I'M CHANGING LANES

I BREAK FOR NO APPARENT REASON

YOUR KID MAY BE AN HONOR STUDENT, BUT YOU ARE STILL AN IDIOT

RETURN TO FUNNY PORTAL