FUNNY QUOTES



I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that I don't know the answer.” - Douglas Adams

Outside of a dog, a book is man's best friend. Inside of a dog it's too dark to read.” - Groucho Marx,

A day without sunshine is like, you know, night.” - Steve Martin

All you need is love. But a little chocolate now and then doesn't hurt.” - Charles M. Schulz
 

Whenever I feel the need to exercise, I lie down until it goes away.” - Paul Terry

I find television very educating. Every time somebody turns on the set, I go into the other room and read a book.” - Groucho Marx

The trouble with having an open mind, of course, is that people will insist on coming along and trying to put things in it.” - Terry Pratchett 

The reason I talk to myself is because I’m the only one whose answers I accept.” - George Carlin

Go to heaven for the climate and hell for the company.” - Benjamin Franklin Wade

I am free of all prejudice. I hate everyone equally.” - W.C. Fields

I'm not afraid of death; I just don't want to be there when it happens.” - Woody Allen

"There is a sucker born every minute" -
W.C. Fields

Two wrongs don't make a right, but they make a good excuse.” - Thomas Szasz

The planet is fine. The people are fucked.” - George Carlin

RETURN TO COOL QUOTES